


Regrets From A Past Encounter and A New Generation's Fulfillments

by Cleo



Series: Past Regrets [1]
Category: CSI: NY
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Romance, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-15
Updated: 2006-10-15
Packaged: 2017-10-19 19:27:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/204415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cleo/pseuds/Cleo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Don and Danny tell Don's parent about them it brings back memories that neither of them are aware of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets From A Past Encounter and A New Generation's Fulfillments

**Author's Note:**

> This came about from a combination of sources. I had just finished watching Forrest Gump and this idea hit. Then I realized my idea was a twist on the manga stories of Wild Rock that I had read. So sprang forth this little gem.
> 
> Alex/Odysseus thanks again sis for the wonderful help in getting this to be the gem it ended up.

**Present** :

Danny couldn't stay still in the backseat of the cab. There was nothing to worry about. Don said so. He'd already met Mrs. Flack and she was great but that was before he and Don had become lovers. What if she couldn't deal with it? What if Mr. Flack couldn't and he ended up disowning Don? The more Danny thought about it the more he was starting to freak. Danny felt a calming hand on his leg and looked over at his lover.

"It'll be okay, Messer. They won't freak. I promise," Don said.

"How can you say that? You yourself said how long it took your dad to come around to your sister marrying a non-catholic. And this is a bit more severe than whether or not their kid's get baptized at St. Michael's or the Protestant church down the street," Danny argued.

"Danny, it's okay. No matter what happens just remember. I love you, Daniel Messer. Yes, I love my parents as well but not as much as I love you," Don pulled him in for a brief kiss. "Now, stop worrying."

Danny looked down at Don's hand on his leg. "What if your dad doesn't like me because of my family? What do we do then?" Danny asked quietly.

"Then it's his loss. I won't lose you because of his stubbornness or bigotry. It's you and me, together against all odds. No matter what, okay?" Don said.

"No matter what. Gotcha. I love you Don," Danny said leaning into Don's shoulder.

"I love you, too Danny. Let's hope we get to finish eating dinner before they freak."

Danny chuckled at Don's joke and relaxed even more knowing that no matter what happened he wouldn't be alone. Danny was glad and lucky that he'd found Don to love.

*

Dinner went great and the food was wonderful. Conversation had been good ranging from politics to some of their latest cases. Then Don took Danny's hand under the table and said, "Mom. Pop. I-We have something to tell you," Don put their joined hands on the table. "Danny and I are together. We're going to be looking for a place to call ours and we wanted you to be the first to know," Don finished.

"Donald?" Don's mother exclaimed. She'd already suspected something considering how much Don talked about the other young man. She looked over to her husband unsure of his reaction.

"How long has this been going on? How long were you lying to us about Danny being _just_ your best friend?" Don's father flatly asked breaking the heavy silence.

"We've only become lovers," Don felt Danny's attempt to withdraw his hand and held tighter, "In the last year. We took things slowly when we realized what we felt for each other. I've never lied about Danny being my best friend. Though the depth of my love for him has changed I always have and always will consider him my best friend," Don stated.

Don Sr. got up and walked to the window looking over their tiny bit of yard. His mind swamped suddenly by memories he'd forced himself to forget but never really could.

 **1965** :

Don was late and he knew his mother was going to kill him for it. She would understand he had to finish and study for his exams but that wouldn't stop her from complaining how he hardly ate at home anymore and how she worried he wasn't eating right. You'd figure that she would have realized that wasn't the case when they sat down to Thanksgiving dinner two weeks ago. Don was so preoccupied with getting off campus and to the subway that he plowed right into someone.

"Oh boy. I'm sorry, forgive me. I didn't see you I was preoccupied. I was trying to catch the train and," Don suddenly stopped when he looked up from collecting his books and into the most arresting blue-green eyes he'd ever seen.

"It's a'ight. Nothing broken. Let me help. If I hadn't been looking at my feet I'da seen you," _Wow, those are some blue eyes. What a waste for them to be on a guy._

Shaking himself from his stupor Don looked down to hide his embarrassment at staring so rudely. He quickly gathered the last of his books and was dismayed when he picked up the psychology text that had fallen in a slush puddle. "Aw, man. This book cost me twenty dollars and I still need it for next semester. Damn. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Donald Flack. Sorry again for running into you," he finally remembered his manners and offered his hand.

"Messer. Michael Messer. Most people call me Mike and family calls me Mikey," Michael answered as they shook hands.

Both young men were surprised to feel a jolt of electric shock at each other's touch. When they looked up to see if the other had felt it their eyes locked. Don all of a sudden didn't want to get home and he had no clue why.

"Ah, um, you wanna get a coffee at the cafeteria. I know they keep stuff like that stocked during finals after meal times. It can be my way of apologizing for bumping into you," Don couldn't believe he was rambling. He never acted this way around people. He was normally quite confident and friendly without sounding like a total idiot.

Mike had somewhere to be but he found himself accepting the offer instead of turning it down. "Sure I could always use a warm up," Messer smiled.

 _He has a nice smile. It brings out his eyes even more._ Don mentally shook himself out of that kind of thinking. "Okay, let's go," Don retraced his steps back to the cafeteria.

And that had been the start of a truly odd friendship for the two men. One that escalated a few weeks later during the subway strikes in January the next year and would take them on one hell of a ride.

Don was surprised to see Mike getting out of what looked like a brand new Dodge Coronet. He knew Mike was working in his family's business and that they didn't do too badly. But he'd had no idea he'd gotten a car recently.

"Hey Mike, nice ride. I thought you said you had work to do today?" Don asked.

"Hey Donny. Yeah it is. I did but they didn't need me after all. I came by figuring you could use a ride. Trains not running again today. They still holding out for more money," Mike said.

"Well they're entitled to fair pay. As for the ride it beats walking any distance in this weather," Don said as he opened the passenger side door.

They'd been friends for almost a month now. It seemed Don spent more time with Mike than he did with the friends he grew up with. No matter what was going on he always made time for Mike. He'd found out the day they'd met that Mike had been making a special delivery for his uncle when he'd bumped into him on campus. It was odd how easily he'd opened up to Mike but he couldn't deny that there was some sort of instinctual connection between them. So Don just went with the flow and enjoyed his time with the other man.

"So where to my friend? We've got a car, full tank of gas and you don't have any classes tomorrow," Mike tempted.

"If only it was warm we could hit a beach. I sure miss swimming at Coney Island," Don said wistfully.

Mike looked thoughtfully at the other man. He knew they were from two different worlds and their friendship just couldn't last. However he couldn't help himself he wanted to please this man just to see him smile. So taking a risk he came up with an idea. "There's a place I know but only if you're up for a little adventure?" Mike asked as he pulled onto the road.

"Really?" Don's eyes were bright with excitement. "You can do that?" Don said looking at his friend for confirmation.

Mike had to stop himself from staring at that happy face. "Yeah, I know a place. But we can't let on that we're there. I haven't got permission to bring a friend. You gotta promise that you won't tell nobody, ever. Okay?"

Don solemnly said, "I promise on pain of football that I will keep it to ourselves." Grinning Don said, "So, where're we going?"

"You ever been to Yonkers?"

"I can't say that I have. Why?" Don asked puzzled.

"This guy has a pool inside the greenhouse. It's heated all year long. I got invited use the joint. Don't know if that includes guests. We'll have to play it cool. There's a gate near the pool we can use to get in. Everything we'll need is in there except for swim trunks. I don't mind skivvies if you don't?" Mike nervously waited for an answer.

"I've got no problem with it. It's not much different than the guys and I diving off some of the old piers and into the Atlantic. So, it's not a problem," Don said.

Mike only nodded and turned his attention to driving. They caught up on what was going on and what Don's new classes were like this semester. Which professors were okay and which were idiots that needed to go back to school. Mike let Don's voice wash over him and soothe the growing darkness within. It was in moments like these that he could admit to himself that he needed Don to help keep the darkness at bay. That he just simply needed Don. But he knew that the darkness would eventually swallow him up and take Don with it if he was within range. He just wanted as much time as he could before that happened.

They snuck in without incident. Don whistled when he saw the layout. "Wow, this is nice. Is this guy a friend of your family's that he'd let you use a place like this without a care?" Don asked as he started to take off his coat and boots.

"Something like that. He's does business with the family. He's good about letting us use this place."

"Well then, last one in is a rotten egg," Don taunted as he quickly got out of the rest of his clothes.

Mike laughed and threw himself into the fun. He stripped as quickly as he could but Don had a head start and he knew he'd lost. Finally, he stripped down and was just five seconds behind Don in getting into the pool.

They spent their time enjoying the warm water and each other's company. They raced each other and just generally horsed around. Neither of them seemed to realize that the horseplay had eased into gentle grappling that constantly brought them into bodily contact. They were just reveling in the joy of being. When Don had a misstep causing him to suddenly go under Michael instinctively pulled Don up closer against himself. The contact this time was a lot more electrifying than when they had first shook hands.

Two pairs of uncertain eyes connected at the sudden intimacy. Neither one would be sure who made the first move but the inevitability of it was a certainty. Suddenly dry lips connected, tentatively questioned and granted each other permission. They were lost to the taste of their virginal kiss until one of them moaned breaking the spell.

They shoved apart quickly keeping the width of the pool between them. Both found themselves breathing heavily, hearts beating franticly feeling confusion and fear at the physical reactions they'd had to each other. They searched each other's face and only found their own questions reflected back.

Finally Don broke the silence. "What was that?" He couldn't believe that was his voice squeaking.

Mike's face shut down and became blank. "It was nothing. We better get going it's getting late," he said as he got out of the pool not looking at Don.

They'd dried off, gotten dressed and back in the car silently without incident. Neither looked at the other. The comfortable drive up was replaced with uncomfortable silence filled with all that was unsaid. Don was dropped off at the corner of his block without even a see you later. He watched as the Coronet's lights got farther down the street and wondered since when did he have this cold lump sitting in the middle of his chest.

Two weeks had passed and Don hadn't heard a word from Mike. He figured that was it, their friendship was over. He could understand the why but it still didn’t stop the fact that he woke up every morning with his body yearning for something and their kiss still fresh in his mind. He missed Mike.

Then one day after classes there was Mike standing beside the Coronet once again. Don ignored the flood of relief that flowed through him and walked over. "Hey?" He said.

"Hey, yourself. Wanna go grab a pizza or something?" Mike asked nervously.

"You buying?" Don teased.

"Sure, why not?" Mike smiled and got into the car.

Don was smiling he couldn't help it he had Mike back and that made him happy. Things got back to close to normal for them. If they seemed to keep a physical distance that wasn't there before neither one commented on it.

It was time for the Valentine's Day dance and Don had asked Mary Carlyle to the school's dance that Friday. He was looking forward to being able to cut loose and get rid of some of the tension he'd been feeling the last few weeks.

Mike showed up the weekend before the dance and as usual Don was happy to see him. Don was surprised when Mike told a tale of woe about being dumped by his date causing him to have nothing to do for Valentine's Day. So they made plans to check out the movie Our Man Flint and grab some food. It was almost like old times.

On Valentine's Mike picked him up after classes. They headed for the movie and some eats. The movie was great and they'd had a wonderful dinner at a little restaurant nearby. Don didn't want the night to end and from what he could tell neither did Mike. They were talking about things to do, as the night was still early. Mike suggested television at his house as he had just gotten a color television. Don agreed seeing as he didn't really want to go home. Besides getting to see color television sounded like a great treat.

"Wow, this isn't a bad place. Are your parents around?" Don asked looking around the tidy little apartment.

"No. It's mine. I just moved in. Have a seat. You want anything to drink? I don't have much just milk and some Coke."

"Coke would be fine. So what’s on tonight?" Don asked.

Handing Don his Coke Mike said, "Nothing that I want to see," as he sat on the little table opposite the chair Don had chosen. He stared into Don's eyes, "Donny, do you know what you do to me?" Mike looked earnestly at Don.

If Don really wanted to go back to normal he'd play dumb and not answer that. But he was never one to back down in the face of his fear and this right now was truly scaring him. The feelings he had for Mike were odd and strange but just as equally strong and powerful. The ache he'd waken with since that kiss was stronger now and he didn't want to ignore it any longer. He put down the bottle he was holding and looked in Mike's beseeching eyes. Eyes that pleaded for mercy, that pleaded for an end to the misery and loneliness that he himself felt. Eyes that once again pulled Don into them and made all other thoughts escape him.

"Probably the same thing you do to me," Don answered as he kissed Mike. Once again the electricity sparked and Don found himself being pressed back into the chair as Mike devoured his mouth.

This time the moans only caused their need to grow. Don needed more. He needed to feel more. Restlessly his hands roamed over Mike's back clutching at the fabric exposing warm flesh. His hands snaked their way underneath the material seeking out the warmth of Mike's skin to pet and caress. He was encouraged by the reactions and sounds his touch was creating.

Mike wasn't being idle as he shared the same need. He caressed Don's chest and was amazed that the difference didn't freak him. He was pleased when his palm moving over a shirt covered nipple caused a particularly strong reaction. When the need for air finally became a necessity Mike spoke.

"Donny? Oh God, Donny. This can't go anywhere. We're on totally different streets. But I'll be damned if I can keep fighting this. If you want out you better say so now. Cause I can't figure out where my stop is on this train we're on."

Pressing their foreheads together Don took a moment to try and gather his thoughts. "What exactly is it we're gonna be doing here? Because all I know right now is that I feel right being here with you and I don't want it to stop."

Mike gave him a hard kiss and stood up. He held out his hand waiting to see if Don would let him lead and a part of him hoping he wouldn't let him. Without hesitation Don took his outstretched hand and followed him to the small bedroom. Standing beside the bed Mike pulled him back in his arms and kissed him again with all the repressed desire and need that had been simmering all these weeks. Don responded with equal passion.

Neither would remember how they'd finally ended up naked and on the bed. But they would remember that first feel of naked flesh against naked flesh. They'd remember the tentative and hesitant touches and caresses of exploration. They'd remember the clumsy rhythm they'd started as their bodies glided against each other. They'd remember it smoothing to a more enjoyable pace that built up until they'd come together. It was the first of many nights filled with passionate exploration.

Don had kept his date with Mary and took her to the dance but was a perfect gentleman. He and Mike would still hang out like they always did but often ended the night at Mike's. On those nights in private they would let their feelings out. They never really talked about it after setting a few ground rules and things were good for a while. Then it all came crashing down.

When he'd gotten his acceptance letter to the police academy he was so excited that he'd went over to Mike's place without calling like they'd agreed. He had wanted to celebrate with him but when he got there a celebration was far from what he'd found.

"What da ya want?" A tough and dangerous looking guy with a cigar asked as he opened the door. Don looked into the apartment and noticed that there was a poker game in progress with some seriously scary looking guys and what looked like some pretty high stakes.

"Ah...uhm...I-I was looking for Mike," Don stammered.

"Yo Mikey! You knows this kid?" The man yelled over his shoulder all the while sizing Don up and warily dismissing him.

Mike came out from the bedroom and froze for a split second before hurrying over to where Don was. "Yeah, I'll take it from here Joey. Go back to the table. I'll be there in a minute," he said as he ushered the guy back to the table and Don out the door and down the hall towards the elevator.

"Why didn't you call like we agreed?" Mike quietly hissed.

Don looked back down the hall, "Mike are you in some sort of trouble? Those looked like some very scary guys. I hope you aren't getting yourself into some sort of trouble."

Mike couldn't believe it. Don was worried for him. "Donny, don't worry about it. I got it covered. Why didn't you call like we agreed?"

Don felt like he'd just been dismissed and got pissed. "Oh, nothing much. I was just bursting with good news I wanted to share with...with..." Don faltered suddenly realizing that they were beyond friends and best friends didn't cover the feelings that he felt for Mike. It finally hit him that they had been walking a fine line all this time.

Mike saw the moment Don realized what he'd known from the start. "Donny, go home. I'll call you later or see you tomorrow. I gotta get back. We'll talk tomorrow," Mike said in resignation.

Numbly Don nodded as he was ushered into the elevator when it arrived. Don was a turmoil of emotions as the enormity of their feelings fell on him. He watched the sad visage of the _man_ he'd fallen in love with disappear as the doors closed.

That night Don hardly slept. He went over all their conversations and added in the look of those men. He finally realized what Mike had meant on their first night together. They were heading down two totally different paths that would only cross at odds to each other. If that weren't bad enough the fact that they were two guys wouldn't go over well in either of their worlds. It's probably one of the reasons he'd never brought Mike home to meet his parents. Deep down he knew it could only be a fantasy that things would work out for them. He knew what was to come when they finally talked.

Tomorrow came and went. Don called Mike's apartment with no answer and went to his place to check on him with the same results. Then a week later there was Mike and he wasn't looking good. It looked as if he had gone a few rounds with the boxing champ and lost.

"What happened to you? Are you okay? Who did this?" Don rattled off then quietly added, "Was it because of me?" He couldn't even look him in the face as he asked that last question.

"Not here. Get in and we'll go someplace quiet to talk," Mike said.

Don got in and watched as the scenery passed by then realized they were heading for Coney Island. "Why are we going to Coney Island? It's not open for the season yet."

"I know. I've wanted to bring you here since you wished it were warm enough to go," Mike answered as he parked the car overlooking one of the piers.

"What happened?" Don asked not really wanting to know.

"Just part of the job, Donny. It looks worse than it is. And it wasn't because of you. My head was just more worried about you. I wasn't keeping my mind on business. I got hurt because of it. That's the problem Donny. This thing between us can't go anywhere. My world and yours just can't mix cause you'll get hurt. Why'd you come over that night without calling?"

"I wanted to tell you that I had gotten accepted into the police academy. When I finish this semester I'd have enough credits to enter the academy this summer. I was looking to celebrate with you, share the news with you and be with you," Don quietly finished.

"When you left it looked like you were told your dog died. What was going through your head that day? What was it that hurt you so much?"

"What you just said. We are headed in two different directions. No matter what we want it could never happen. I realized exactly what it was I feel for you and that has no place in our lives. Not even as friends. It's over for us."

"Yeah Donny, it's over. From here on out we go on with our lives, marry, have kids and hopefully make names for ourselves. We forget what we ever were to each other and live the life we were born into," Mike stated.

Looking at Mike, Don knew it would be hard to forget him. His face would forever be a part of him even if it ended up locked away. "We go on," Don agreed though his entire being was screaming to kiss his lover one last time. Yeah, his lover that was what they had become though they had never named it.

"You want me to drive you home?" Mike asked.

"No. I think I’ll walk and then catch the train when I'm ready," Don said as he got out. Looking back in the car one last time he said, "Goodbye, Michael Messer. Take care of yourself and I hope you have a good life." Don closed the door and walked away it was the last time he'd see Michael Messer face to face.

Don threw himself into his studies and then into his classes at the academy. By the time he'd made sergeant he'd been married to his wife, Sylvia, for three years and they had already started their family. He'd transferred to Yonkers in order to move into a better neighborhood to raise his kids. If at times he would wander by a certain house with a greenhouse pool while he was driving it was no one's business but his own. And as time went by like Michael had said he'd pretty much forgotten and moved on.

 **Present** :

Looking at his son and his lover. Yes his son's lover he could think that. Especially when he looked at them he could see their love for each other the same kind of love that was forced to die a premature death inside him over 40 years ago. He looked at Danny's face and saw Michael's eyes and the same determination to do what was best for Don. Just as his father had once upon a time.

"How'd you two boys meet?" Flack Sr. asked.

"It was the first case I ever worked with Danny. As you could guess the rumor mill had already given me a preconceived idea of what he'd be like. The suspect ended up coming back to the scene while we were still there and pulled out a gun when he saw I was a cop. Next I knew, I was run over by one pretty fast and heavy CSI." Don recited the short version of their initial meeting all the while smiling at Danny.

"After that I figured I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. To thank him I offered to buy him a beer and we talked. We clicked. Over time we became friends then best friends. It wasn't until a case where a street entertainer used a dead man's corpse to work his human statue routine that I realized I cared for him more than a friend. It was when he got trapped in a panic room with a corpse and the guy who was helping to get Danny out turned up to finish Danny off. That day I nearly lost him and took a chance on telling him how I felt. Since then we've been together," Don finished.

"Mr. Flack, Mrs. Flack, I love Don. More than anyone I've ever met. You don't have to worry because I'd never do anything to hurt him. I know I ain't what you had in mind for Donny," Danny looked over and smiled at Don. "But know this I will do anything and everything in my power to make him happy and to take care of him." _Even if it means leaving him so you don't hurt him,_ Danny thought.

Don Sr. smiled inwardly seems some things like nicknames don't change. "You boys have set yourselves on a narrow road across a cliff. You know how the boys in blue can be and they don't take too kindly to three things. Those they think are dirty, those who betray the brotherhood and queers. I'm not bothered too much by the queer part because I've seen plenty in my life. I've seen some of the worst possible cataclysms in relationships both straight and not. The one thing I could say about those kinds of men is that with each other that when they loved you saw it. I see that now with you two. Are you both ready and willing to defend that love against anyone?" Donald Flack Sr. asked.

"Yes, sir," Don and Danny said almost simultaneously.

"Does your father know Danny?"

"Ah...no, sir. He doesn't," Danny replied quietly.

"And why not? But then again I think I can guess why. He didn't take kindly to you being a cop?"

"Yes, sir. H-he...stopped talking to me when I told him I wanted to be a scientist. When I joined the force he disowned me. We haven't spoken in years," Danny said.

Don Sr. couldn't believe Michael would have done that. Then again considering everything he remembered it's highly probable. "Then I'd be happy to accept you as my son and into our family," Don and Danny stared mouth agape. "So where's dessert?" Don's father asked.

Don Sr. looked at his family gawking at him. He could understand their shock. They didn't know his past regrets. Now he could see to it that a future generation didn't have to face those same regrets at least not alone.


End file.
